Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Things I Need to Work On

1.) I need to start listening to my gut. It's always right. My mother always told me to go with my gut. She is a smart woman, and I should have taken her advice a long time ago. But she was mother, so of course, I wasn't going to listen to her. :) Now that I am becoming a young woman, I'm taking all of her life lessons to heart.

2.) I need to take things for what they are, not what I want them to be. Bottom line,I read into things too much and don't like to accept things for what they are depending on the situation. So, I guess you could say I'm a hard head.

3.) I need to work on not letting people have such a hold of my emotions, especially when I am just getting to know them. I guess another way of putting this is, I need to learn to not jump the gun.

4.) I have to remember to not let my wants become greater than my needs. To want something is just a feeling of desire. A need is a situation is which something is required. I wanted things to work out, but I need someone who wants me.

5.) I need to remind myself that I am worth it, and that I deserve to be treated the way I want to be treated. I need to learn to not sacrifice myself for others and stay true to myself and my values.

6.) I don't want to give people more than they are willing to give to me. I give a lot, and I am happy to, but I should then expect something in return. There is nothing wrong with that. Life should be a give and take relationship with others, not just give, give, give.

Well, that was my little pep talk for myself. I have gone through some very good life lessons in the past few weeks, and although there were some tough experiences, I fully believe that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. I definitely feel I am walking away from these experiences a stronger, more focused person who knows what I want, need and deserve.

Monday, October 4, 2010

All Bundled Up

So, I think it is safe to day that Fall is in fact here, and Winter is waiting just around the corner to bombard us with snow. I am currently blogging in sweatpants, thick fuzzy socks, a thick hoodie with the hood up, a fleece blanket and a cup of scolding hot cocoa that is way to hot to actually drink, but serves as a hand warmer until I can guzzle it down to warm my insides. And all I can think as I sit here in this state is... why do I live here???
Yesterday, I took my mom to see a great little musical called "Forever Plaid." It was full of the best music of the 50s and 60s sung by a young quartet of men. There was humor and life and beautiful notes. I could not stop smiling the entire show. When we left the show, we were in high spirits. That was until we stepped outside into the cold, rainy weather. The sky was dark and gloomy and made you feel instantly miserable. On the ride home, my mom and I discussed how terrible the weather is in Buffalo, in general. When its not snowing 6 months out of the year, its raining, and when its not raining and we have a few weeks of nice weather we are in such shock we run around like maniacs trying to do all the fun things we can't a majority of the year and we end up exhausted. Now, I know I sound like I'm complaining, but I'm really not, its just the way it is. I have lived in the Buffalo area all of my life, and I love getting to experience all 4 seasons, but I think after 21 years I am over it. I am ready to have longer summers and winters that don't involve 4 feet of snow.
Now, with that said, where do I want to go? Well that my friends is the ironic part. I don't want to go to Florida or California or South Carolina or any where warm really. The only place I want to go is to New York City. The city does get all four seasons. Not all harshly, or in some cases such as Fall, not as beautifully, but that is where I want to go. If I ever need to see more orange, yellow, and red trees or jump in a pile of leaves, I can always venture to Central Park. If I ever need to make a snow man or a snow angel, Central Park is where I will go. And if I ever need more Fall or more Winter, I can always come home to good old Buffalo.
So, for now, I will stay all bundled up until the day when I can call the city my home.