Today has been a great day! It has been wonderful and rewarding! The sun is out and I have been walking outside wearing just a hoodie! I am loving it!
I am currently sitting in the library- where I should really be studying for my Women in American History midterm on Friday, but instead I am blogging. I managed to find an empty table right next to the windows and the heat of the sun feels amazing! The sky is blue and bright, and I am finding it hard not to smile. People who glance my way probably think I am crazy, but I don't mind. I am so happy, I just can't help it!
My happiness all began this morning when I walked out the front door of my apartment to head to class and it was a perfect morning. The sun was out, the snow is almost gone, and there was a light morning breeze that was gently waking all my senses preparing me to take on the day. When I made it to my first and only class of the day, my Art History professor handed back the formal analysis we had to write on Ancient Egyptian art. I had spent a lot of time on that paper and was very proud of it. I was nervous that I had not approached the topic correctly, and that I was not writing what she was looking for. But I had worried for no reason because I got a B+! I am very happy with that grade! Of course, I want to strive for an A in the future, but I'll take a B+ any day! After Art History, I made my way to my Philosophy professor's office to earn some extra credit on an exam I didn't do so hot on, but I plan to do much better on in the future. I aced the oral exam and earned the maximum extra points, I left her office feeling confident due to her encouraging words and my determination that I will do better next time around. To top off my great day, I logged onto the school's course management system, Angel, and saw that my History professor posted the grade for my paper, and I got an A!
I am just so proud of myself. I work very hard to do so well, and I take my education very seriously. I am so blessed to be going to such a great college, and I know that. I want to do well for myself and for my future, but also for my father. He works very hard to be able to afford to send me to Canisius, and I am very lucky to have a parent who is willing to pay for my education. Not to mention, I need to keep my GPA up in order to keep my scholarship, which is not an issue because I will never allow my GPA to get so low that losing my scholarship could ever be a possibility, but nonetheless, it is motivation. I find it interesting that in high school I was one of those students who didn't have to try very hard to do well, it just came easy to me. I was always on the Honor Roll, and took for granted the fact that I didn't have to try very hard to succeed. Now that I have to work for my grades, it's almost more rewarding when I get an A or even a B because I know I earned that grade and that I can achieve my goals. I love school. I love to learn, and I love the reward I get for pushing myself and always striving to do better. The internal reward of feeling accomplished and proud of my hard work is sometimes better than the external reward of earning a great grade and overall GPA.
So, while the sun was my initial reason for my happiness this morning, I suppose I make myself happy too. I can make my own sunshine :). All I have to do is continue to work hard and not give up. My mother has always implemented the idea that I can do anything I set my mind to. I believe that 110%, and I think, had my mother not said this to me every time I was down or feeling nervous, I wouldn't be who, or where, I am today. Her belief and confidence in me has helped me to believe in myself. And not only that, but her confidence in me, has helped me to find my own confidence. I will always have days when I am not sure if I can do it, that's just human nature, and there are exams and papers I don't do well on, but I know I can do well, and next time I will do better. I have my mother, father, and everyone who has ever encouraged and believed in me to thank for my confidence, strength, and drive to always push myself. So...Thank you! I won't let you down, and more importantly, I won't let myself down! My will keep my own sun shining, even on the dreariest of days!