Sunday, February 14, 2010

Hallmark is the Devil

It's Valentine's day. I hate Valentine's day, but doesn't everyone in the single community. Hallmark has created a holiday that you either love- because you are in a relationship, or you hate- because being single is rubbed in your face. I have been emotional and sensitive almost all day. It's not like I'm desperate for a relationship, or I need to be in a relationship. I actually enjoy being single, and there is nothing wrong with being single. I have the rest of my life to find someone and be happy with them.
I was having a pretty good day. I woke up and hing out with my dad for a bit. But, it wasn't long after I woke up that things started to spiral downward. My girlfriend, and future roommate, and I had a major texting miscommunication. I didn't know what was going on and I felt like I was being thrown to the wayside. That was not the case at all, but Emotional Mary had taken over that this point so there was no hope for me.
Some time later I headed back to the apartment. I made some cute valentines day cards for Kim and Bob. I even made some homemade goodies! I called my mom and wished her a happy valentine's day, and I even sent my ex, Brandon, a text. We have been talking here and there and are doing well as friends so I thought it would be nice. He didn't text me back, which was okay, but kinda sad. I was shocked when my phone began to ring at 3 o'clock and I looked down to see him number. He wished me a happy valentine's day and we chatted. He even wanted to hang out after he got out of work! I couldn't believe it. It was nice of him to think of me and want to spend time with me. I know he still cares and wants to be together, but I'm just not ready. I was hurt a lot. I cared about him and would do anything for him, and he just didn't reciprocate that. In the end I did say yes to hanging out. It would be nice to see with him.
After we talked, I finished making the valentine's cards, dropped them off, and did a little workout session. I was feeling good. Then, like the addict I am, I checked Facebook. I figured I would look at Brandon's page, see what he has been up to. Oh boy, I found out what he has been up to, that's for sure.
He and his other ex, that he wanted to marry, have been talking. Now, before I give you the wrong impression, they talked back and forth only a few times; I just don't understand why? He has been texting me randomly just to chit chat and making a good effort at being friends. Then I find out he has also been talking to Kristen! That just really bothers me and hurts my feelings. The thing is, we aren't even dating. It shouldn't bother me, but it does. Has he just been contacting all his exes!? Ughhh I don't even know what to think or say! I'm sad and I'm mad all at the same time, but I have no right to be. We broke up. I guess I am just jealous that he still talks to her? I know she hurt him a lot and I don't like her for that. But I also know he wanted to marry her. I think about that, and I wonder what their relationship was like. If he wanted to marry her, they must have had a good relationship. I wonder what they did, and how he treated her? Did he treat her the same way he treated me? He must not have because we had some pretty rocky times, and he never really seemed to care about us.
I thought I was someone special in Brandon's life, but I'm just an ex, and he talks to all his exes I guess.

No comments: